Freddy and the New Kid

  CONTENTS

  TITLE PAGE

  DEDICATION

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  COPYRIGHT

  What up, humans! How is it going? You have probably already heard of me, because I am PRETTY FAMOUS, but just in case somehow you HAVEN’T, here are the main things you should know:

  My name is FREDDY!

  I live in London with my mum and dad, and my big brother, Alex

  I go to school

  I am an AWESOME ROBOT, with MANY AMAZING ROBOTIC SUPER-POWERS!

  What KIND of Amazing Robotic SUPER-POWERS, I hear you ask! Good question! Let me answer it in the form of an awesome THEME SONG I made up for myself:

  Anyway, even though I have all these amazing SUPER-POWERS, I am NOT supposed to use them at school. There have been certain INCIDENTS, like that one time Mr Javid’s car got accidentally exploded with lasers and he got all upset, EVEN THOUGH I explained it was for the purposes of a SCIENTIFIC DEMONSTRATION.

  I am the only robot AT my school! Well, except for my big brother, Alex. Me and Alex are, in fact, the only robots in the WHOLE WORLD who even have to GO to school.

  There are lots of robots in the world – robots that build cars, robots that lift heavy stuff onto ships, robots that deliver your shopping or whatever –

  but of all these robots, we are the only ones in the WHOLE WORLD who are SENTIENT.

  My mum is always trying to explain what this means to me. She says:

  “Most robots just obey their programming, carrying out specific instructions. But you and Alex … you have MINDS. You’re CONSCIOUS. SELF-AWARE. Which means you get to choose your own instructions. You’re FREE.”

  … except, as I pointed out, not THAT free, because I have to go to SCHOOL.

  School is not COMPLETELY 100% terrible. Sometimes we get pizza for lunch! But ALSO, it is where my FRIENDS are.

  Because of being a robot and everything, I am kind of FAMOUS at school, and my best friends are all members of my cool TEAM ROBOT gang.

  So, yeah. Even though they don’t have LASERS or ROCKET BOOSTERS, humans can actually be quite cool.

  Or so I thought. Until …

  The day that everything changed.

  … is called AOIFE, and she just started at our school this term, and she is VERY ANNOYING. Here are my …

  “… Humans are better than robots,” said Aoife. “I mean, that’s just a Fact.”

  We were all out in the playground at break, and we were having a Disagreement.

  “That’s crazy!” I shouted. “Robots are obviously better than humans! I LITERALLY HAVE LASERS!”

  “Maybe we could just agree,” said Riyad nervously, “that robots are awesome and that humans are … also awesome?”

  “NO!” me and Aoife both shouted together, and Riyad went “eeep” and jumped to hide behind a bin.

  “Maybe you guys should SETTLE it,” said Fernando. “Like, with a CONTEST.”

  “Great idea!” I said. “How about a BLOWING THINGS UP WITH LASERS contest? Or a FLYING USING YOUR AMAZING ROCKET BOOSTERS contest?”

  And Aoife looked really annoyed, and that was very enjoyable.

  “Well, that wouldn’t really be fair, would it?” said Anisha, thoughtfully. “I mean, to be fair it would have to be stuff you can both do …”

  Riyad poked his head out from behind the bin and joined in, “And to make it really fair you’d have to design a range of tests, across different aspects – mental, physical, and …”

  “Like a GAME SHOW!” said Fernando. “Three challenges, three rounds!

  And we’ll make them up ourselves, and if Freddy wins, the robots are OFFICIALLY THE BEST!”

  “Fine with me,” I said, “because I WILL win!”

  “Fine with ME,” said Aoife, “because you WON’T!”

  “But who would set the challenges?” Riyad asked. “It would have to be someone impartial, who could act as a judge …”

  And everyone kind of turned and looked at Anisha expectantly, because everyone knows she can be trusted with this kind of thing.

  “As long as I get a cool title,” said Anisha.

  So Anisha was appointed …

  “And we’d have to have some RULES,” said Anisha, looking thoughtful. “To make sure it’s a fair contest …”

  “Oh, not this,” I muttered.

  And we all looked over at the side of the school hall, where they have this big sign stuck up on the wall …

  … because of certain, uh, incidents.

  “… No, I don’t care about that,” said Anisha.

  “So I get to use my LASERS and stuff?” I asked, excited.

  “What?” cried Aoife. “That’s not fair!”

  “But that’s the point, isn’t it?” said Anisha. “If we’re seeing who’s better, humans or robots … then Freddy should be allowed to do his … robot stuff. We’ll just need to make sure the teachers don’t see.”

  “Ha!” I said, and Aoife looked really annoyed, which was GREAT.

  “There’s just ONE rule,” said Anisha. “You can use your powers, Freddy. But you can’t use them against Aoife.”

  “What did you THINK I was going to do, SABOTAGE her with LASERS or something?” I said.

  “Basically, yes,” said Anisha. “Is everyone happy with that?”

  “SUPER happy,” said Aoife, scowling at me.

  “ULTRA super happy,” I said, scowling RIGHT BACK …

  It was the next day at lunch, and everyone was getting impatient to find out what the first HUMANS VS ROBOTS challenge would be.

  Okay, when I say “everyone” I mostly mean … me.

  “What’s it going to be?” I asked Anisha. “Huh? What’s it going to be? Huh? Huh? WHAT’S IT GOING TO BEEEE?”

  “Jeez, Freddy!” shouted Anisha. “I TOLD you, I haven’t decided yet. Honestly, it is hard enough to think of these things without you BUGGING me all the time.”

  “Whatever it is,” said Fernando, “I bet Freddy WINS.”

  And we did our special …

  “Bet he doesn’t,” said Henrik, who was lurking around nearby, probably waiting for a chance to Break Something Or Hit Somebody.

  “What are you talking about?” said Fernando. “Freddy is an AWESOME ROBOT!”

  “Yeah,” said Henrik, “but you know what that Aoife girl’s like, she’s captain of the football team, she’s a total brainiac … I reckon she’ll smash it.”

  “Bet she doesn’t!” said Fernando.

  “Yeah? What do you bet?” said Henrik.

  Fernando reached into his lunchbox and pulled out a CHOX bar. “This!” he said. “One Chox says Freddy wins.”

  And Henrik’s eyes lit up, because if there is one thing Henrik loves even more than Breaking Things And Hitting People, it is chocolate bars.

  “You’re on!” he said, grinning.

  “You’re going to bet AGAINST me?” I asked Henrik, OUTRAGED.

  “Well, yeah,” said Henrik. “Because you’re going to LOSE.” r />
  “THAT IS IT!” I shouted. “TREACHERY! You are not allowed in Team Robot any more!!”

  Henrik just shrugged. “Fine,” he said. “Guess I’ll go be on Team Human. And WIN.”

  And he just grinned and WALKED OFF, the absolute TRAITOR.

  As it turned out, we didn’t have to wait long to find out what the challenge was. That afternoon, we all got to go to the local pool for our SWIMMING LESSON. And while we were all lined up waiting to go in the pool, Anisha suddenly said, “Okay, listen up. It is time for …”

  “What, here?” I said. “At the POOL?”

  “Yes,” said Anisha. “It is a PHYSICAL challenge. A RACE! You both have to swim FOUR LENGTHS of the big pool, and whoever comes first is the winner.”

  “Fine with ME,” said Aoife, grinning. And OF COURSE she was grinning, because OF COURSE she is super great at swimming and has won contests and has actual TROPHIES and stuff.

  “That’s not fair!” I said. “She is really good at swimming! And I …”

  “… am a HIGHLY SUPERIOR ROBOT, right?” said Aoife. “What’s the matter, are you scared you might lose?”

  And I couldn’t really say anything because then it would look like I WAS scared, and basically I had fallen right into her CLEVER TRAP.

  “As IF!” I said. “Fine! I don’t care! Let’s DO it.”

  So FIRST we had to distract the teachers. There was one lifeguard watching the lesson, and Mr Latif, our P.E. teacher from school.

  So we huddled together and came up with a quick PLAN, which was:

  … Fernando got rid of the lifeguard by telling him he had to COME QUICK because someone was having EXPLOSIVE DIARRHOEA in the splash pool, and meanwhile:

  … Henrik told Mr Latif that Fernando had gone MISSING and must have got lost and wandered off into town.

  “Oh, for … NOT AGAIN!” shouted Mr Latif, running out. “Everyone go and wait in the changing rooms until I get back. NO getting in the pool, okay?”

  So we waited until he’d gone … and then got in the pool, obviously. Aoife and me had a lane each, and everyone else gathered round along the sides of the lanes to watch.

  “Come on, Aoife!” shouted Henrik. “Team Human! Smash him!”

  “Hey!” I said. “I am RIGHT HERE.”

  “What?” said Henrik. “I’ve got a CHOX riding on this.”

  Anisha stood in the middle. “Okay!” she said, “Four lengths, whatever stroke you like. Fastest time wins! Ready … steady … GO!”

  We both PUSHED OFF from the wall and started swimming! And OF COURSE Aoife got off to a great start. She was doing a proper front crawl, kicking with her legs, hardly making any splash at all …

  … just generally going really FAST and making it look EASY.

  I, meanwhile, was …

  I HATE swimming, it is STUPID and HARD. For one thing, I am made of METAL, and so I have to work harder than everyone else just so I DON’T SINK. The whole thing is basically TOTALLY UNFAIR. And you have to move your arms and legs all together at the right times and in the right way and LOOK, it is just HARD, OK?

  It is the kind of thing my mum is always going on about, about how I need to “practise” and “hone my abilities” or whatever. But I HATE practising, it is BORING. And the way I see it, why do I need to “hone my abilities”? So what if I am not super-great at swimming, or whatever, I can LITERALLY PUNCH A HOLE IN A TANK.

  Anyway, I was trying to do a front crawl like Aoife, but it was coming out more like a doggy paddle. And to be honest, more like a doggy paddle if the dog had like RABIES or something. And had GONE MAD. And also COULDN’T SWIM.

  I was definitely doing a lot of SPLASHING, but I didn’t seem to actually be moving very fast. Or at all.

  “Try and kick more with your legs!” I heard Riyad shout, unhelpfully.

  “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” I shouted back, and then sank under the water.

  When I bobbed up again I could see that I had BARELY MOVED, and a bunch of the kids in the lanes were all LAUGHING.

  Which made me really angry. And then I saw that Aoife was nearly at the end of the pool. She’d done a whole length already, while I’d barely started! And that made me even ANGRIER. She was going to win!

  Unless … I did something about it.

  It looked like Aoife was going to WIN the first challenge! Just because, okay, FINE … she was BETTER THAN ME AT SWIMMING.

  But I had one thing going for me that she didn’t. And that thing was …

  ROCKET BOOSTERS!

  If I fired them off, I could shoot through the water at 200 miles an hour like a flipping TORPEDO!

  And so that …

  … WAS EXACTLY WHAT I DID.

  I set my ROCKET BOOSTERS to …

  … and I SHOT straight up the lane!

  I went all the way to the other end in like two seconds flat! I JUST managed to slow down in time so that I didn’t SMASH into the side of the pool. I turned round quickly, and fired off my ROCKET BOOSTERS again to come back.

  And the best part was, Aoife had only just started her second lap, so I WHIZZED right past her so fast that she got splashed in the FACE by a massive WAVE.

  It was PRETTY AWESOME.

  I was making LOTS of waves now. All the kids who were watching were getting tossed up and down in the churning water like they were in a WASHING MACHINE. There was lots of clapping and cheering and also SCREAMING. But, you know, the happy kind of screaming.

  I got back to the start and turned again and started LENGTH THREE!

  I caught a glimpse of Aoife’s face, looking really ANNOYED. So obviously, that was pretty great. To annoy her even MORE, I decided to really show off on my last length and WIN IN STYLE. I turned onto my back and folded my hands behind my head, so it looked like I couldn’t even be bothered to stay AWAKE.

  And I fired off my ROCKET BOOSTERS for the final length.

  It is always good to defeat your enemies, but it is even BETTER to do so while ANNOYING THEM MASSIVELY.

  Anyway, I must have been halfway along, with just half a length between me and GLORIOUS VICTORY, when suddenly I noticed that I could hear screaming. And this time it didn’t sound like the happy kind, but the ACTUALLY TERRIFIED kind? I opened my eyes and saw …

  RIYAD!

  I must have drifted out of my lane and into the lane where all the spectators were bobbing around in the waves – and now I was heading straight for him! At like two hundred miles an hour!

  Riyad is pretty small and also, y’know, a HUMAN. I didn’t know exactly what would happen if he got hit by an INDESTRUCTIBLE ROBOTIC TORPEDO GOING AT TWO HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR … but I assumed it would be BAD. I barely had time to think …

  I QUICKLY swerved my legs to change direction …

  … but I was going so FAST that I kind of

  down into the bin where they keep all the floats!

  I was just getting my head together and trying to figure out which way was UP when I heard the sound of clapping and cheering and Anisha’s voice shouting …

  “What?” I shouted. “No way! I was way ahead of her! I LAPPED her!”

  Aoife looking all smug and superior. Anisha looked at me. “Yeah, but Freddy,” she said, “you didn’t touch the side, so you didn’t technically finish. Aoife did.”

  “That is SO UNFAIR!” I shouted.

  Just then, Fernando walked back in from distracting the lifeguard. He looked at the scene, and at me still half-buried under a pile of floats, and asked “What happened?”

  “You owe me a CHOX, that’s what happened,” grinned Henrik. “It’s …”

  And there was a lot of cheering.

  And Aoife just SMIRKED at me.

  And now I was REALLY annoyed.

  In assembly the next day, Mr Javid, the Deputy Head, said he had a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. He was standing up at the front of the gym like normal, but next to him there was this big SHEET that was draped over … SOMETHING, but we couldn’t see what.

  Mr Javid is always telli
ng me off and giving me detentions and calling my mum into school to have Little Talks, so I worried for a second that he’d found out about the swimming contest and maybe under the sheet he had a TANK, or possibly the POLICE.

  “Due to certain … recent events, and unplanned expenses in the school budget …” he said, and he paused and GAVE A LOOK, right at where I was sitting.

  “He means his CAR exploding,” Fernando whispered to me.

  “Sssshh!” I whispered. “We swore never to talk about that!”

  “… it has become necessary to find ways to make the school even more … financially competitive …”

  “He means they need to save money,” whispered Fernando.

  “… so as part of this bold new initiative to reduce our salary expenditure …”

  “He means sacking teachers,” whispered Fernando.

  “… we will be introducing …” said Mr Javid, and he pulled the sheet away …

  … and underneath there were all these ROBOTS!

  They looked like pretty basic robots, not super-awesome ones like me. They had like SCREENS for heads, showing like a cartoon emoji of a smiley face, and the one in the middle said “BEEP! HEY GUYS, LET’S LEARN!”